Saturday, September 6, 2008

USAIR TALES #13 KPIT - KPHX Hail to the chief...

I am still in shock...

Seriously folks you have no idea what I have been through here...

I don't even know where to begin... but I guess I am going to have to.

I am gonna preface this by saying, I have been in KLGA, La Guardia for the last couple weeks or so... part of my task as Focus City VP was to keep the stations running, and La Guardia especially was a problem child because we had not had a manager there for a little while. Come to think of it... we had not had many ACTIVE PILOTS!!! As I sat in the cobweb laden office I could not help but think... we really needed some activity here...

Of course... the nature of the business would have other plans for me... In short order a new CEO was appointed on an interim basis, and all of a sudden I found myself flying back to PIT with a new title of Chief Operations Officer... figures... had not even gotten my butt into the Focus City seat to see how it fits. My old friend Will had gotten the job and wanted me by his side... I could not refuse.

Not to mention my personal life was in upheaval...



Why is it everything happens at once when you least expect it?

I should be glad... My career is moving forward... Jess has not yet asked for a divorce... Tiffany will still see me... and even Barney after his hiatus has agreed to continue to be my FO.

How it got to that point amazes me...

First Jess... Come to find out from Tiffany that when she told her about our affair, Jess had her own bombshell to drop. Apparently she too had a moment of indiscretion, with of all people my COUSIN... Marine Corps F/A 18 pilot Garth. I knew they were close but I did not think they were that close... I guess as it stands now we have agreed to be separated and agree to not rake each other through the coals over what we have done...

So should I be jealous? Not sure... As I stared at the newly installed leather seating... I could not help but think... my life is strange.

I went to the cockpit to await Barney and the others...



The office...

I really hate driving a desk... I belong here... on the flight deck... It seems with all this newfound responsibility I am losing my touch... Heck my last flight I even had a Josh landing in KPIT... I think the office is still laughing over that one. Imagine the COO of the airline plopping planes on the runway. Well at least this trip to Phoenix would give me the opportunity to redeem myself, on all fronts.

As I sat there with my thoughts, the unmistakeable thump of a flight bag being placed on the floor jarred me back to reality at gate B30 in KPIT.

Barney was here.

"Hey Boss... how you been?"

Same as always... too much crap and not enough time to do it in. How about you Barney?

"Well couple more cycles and I can go for Captain... I figured I would close those out with you... If you are still ok with me that is."

To be honest Barney, I have enjoyed having you here... I dunno what my future holds at this point, but as long as you can still put up with me... It will be my pleasure to sign off on your checkride when the time comes.

"Cool Boss... well can we drop the mushy stuff please? We got a job to do..."

I chuckled... same old Barney...



A couple minutes later the morning breeze seeping past the jetway also ushered in the flight attendants... George first, dressed to the nines as always with his ascot, Wanzetta following with her blue stockings and lanky gait, and finally Tiffany...

Yep... Tiffany. I almost asked her to move in a week ago, when we got back from New York... but I knew that she already felt a little awkward about the whole thing...

I knew she valued her independence, and I was not about to tread on that, no matter what my confused heart felt... especially with Jess' revelation. The fact that she continued to see me even knowing what a turmoil everything was in was indeed a testament... Of course as soon as word got out about our little tryst, pretty much every single manager from here to LAS wanted to date her... come to think of it she even told me about one time in CLT when she had to slap Josh for even suggesting she and he could get together... What was the line she said he used? Oh yeah... "Do you have any panther in you? Would you like some?" He's lucky she did not kick his ass... Tiffany can be pretty mean when agitated... must be that cajun spirit.

I will say this... she was certainly acting more professional in light of it... even if after the day was done she would still stop by the house for dinner.

We loaded up 111 souls and got Steeler Air ready for the trip to Phoenix.



As usual I glanced at Lolo's picture on the dash... She was not talking to me since she found out, and had a few choice words for both Tiff and her own mother... I just chalked it up to teenage angst... but then it is something my own conscience has to wrestle with...

Conscience is a bitch let me tell you...

As we made our way to runway 28C Barney pointed out the Air Force doing maneuvers... From the looks of it the 171st refueling wing was up early and getting as many hours in as they could before the mad airline rush from Pit.

I thought about this journey... Will had asked me to come to Phoenix... which in and of itself was unusual as he knew I had my hands full with things going on east... finding Josh an assistant hub manager, helping Dan with Pittsburgh, Helping new Focus City VP Mike with the LGA issue... It just seems like it never ends sometimes.

I took it in stride though... at least now for the next four hours I could concentrate on flying... my one true love. At least I had my crew... Not sure how much longer we would all be intact before they all got reassigned... I had better enjoy it while it lasts.



Runway 28C... And with it, the clearance to takeoff, and Tiffany's usual announcement to the cabin.

I looked to Barney and as he pulled his shades down, he winked.

We were ready to go...

I made the cabin call to our flight attendants to be seated, and nodded to Barney for the thrust settings...

There is no greater peace than the sound of an Airbus' CFM engines growling up to speed and ready to launch this several ton aircraft skyward...

They say the journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.



"Gear up" came the familiar call from Barney...

I am not surprised that he is more by the books now... after our experience in Charlotte he really started to take this seriously... I knew he wanted that fourth stripe on his epaulets... and whatever I could do to help him get them was going to be my task. I decided step one was to have him do our entire approach into PHX.

I know he can handle it... heck the last couple of flights without him were kind of painful as I enjoy that he keeps me in check. When I had Nick C in here for the run out to NYC and back, it was less than stellar, shall we say. At one point he started to call mayday on takeoff because he could see skyscrapers in front of us. I had to explain to the tower that I had a new First Officer and he was a little overzealous on his calls, since he was not really up to speed on the Airbus.

Maybe if I flew a 737 Nick might have been more at home, but the stopgap measure that found him in the same cockpit as me was more along the lines of the odd couple. Sometimes people just do not fit... I hope he did not take offense when I signed off that he was to be kept at the 737 flight rating and never let into an Airbus again... He's young... He'll get over it.

I was just glad to have Barney back.



No one knew this aircraft better than he... It was going to be a shame to lose him to his promotion to Captain... which was inevitable.

For that matter, I wondered what job I would have to play... with this new position I was not so sure what all was really expected of me. I had ideas as to how smoothly we could run operations, and indeed I was asked to present those ideas to the board of directors, and met with good results... but I guess in a way I kind of feel like this is more of a temporary assignment for me... somehow it did not feel like I truly fit here... Not like when I was manager of KPIT. It felt like... something was missing for me...

Could not put a finger on it... just... something...

Not to mention Will was acting a little wierd lately... not like he was losing it, just like someone who has started to realize maybe he does not fit either... I did not dare ask his personal life, as it is just not my place... but I could tell in our phone conversations that his mind was elsewhere from time to time.



What the hell... it is saturday... I am flying... I should not let my overactive mind rule my flight... not again...

I had Barney do our calls to tower, then departure, then Cleveland Center as we steadily climbed to cruise altitude of 34,000 feet, with the morning sun at our backs.

My mind ran back on Jess... Garth... who knew... Granted he was a childhood friend from long before I had even met Jess, but still... I could not have pictured my wife having relations with anyone other than myself... let alone family.

I dared not broach the subject with him either... At this point I just had to accept it for what it was... We are after all human... and definitely NOT perfect.

I will tell you this... It kind of throws in sharp relief the pitfalls of being a pilot on the go... It's a curse really, forever doomed to make sure your flight deck is in order, even if you cannot keep your home life in order... Let that be a lesson to you young pups... Keep your house as clean as your flight deck... assuming that is even possible.

In my life, it would appear it was not.



As we passed transition altitude George knocked on the door to ask if he could start the inflight movie...

What do we have today?

"Brokeback Mountain" was his response...

Barney and I looked at each other...

You have GOT to be kidding me...

"Well of course I am you silly goose! As if we'd play that piece of dreck in here. No seriously we have 'I am Legend' ready to go."

I do not think I will ever get George's humor... nor will I ever understand why he feels the need to put what I can only assume is lip gloss on. I nodded my approval at the movie choice and he went on his merry way.

"What's with the ascot anyway Boss?" Barney asked.

Barney, I have a strict don't ask don't tell policy, whatever floats his boat. At least it is color coordinated. I am pretty sure I really do not want to know.



With Ohio below it was time to turn off the seatbelt signs... we were at cruise...

I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed my seatbelt a little. Three more hours to go, and from the looks of it we would beat the sun to the sun kissed state of Arizona.

You know, that brings to mind another thing that's been bugging me. Ever since September 1, we received word from on high, that henceforth we are to use the callsign "Cactus" on the air with ATC. This dates back to America West... as they used to have that as their callsign... granted it is not as repulsive as say... "Critter"... but still I resisted the change...

Many a time in the last month I threatened to call myself "Tumbleweed" in protest... but in the end, I gotta lead by example... so here I am checking in with Indianapolis Center...

Cactus 1551, with you FL340.

Cactus... eww... whomever came up with that one has obviously never been pricked by one.



"Knock Knock..."

Is it lunch time already Tiff?

"Yup... and I think the Boss pulled out all the stops on this one... Look at this!"

There in her dainty hands was a tray with steaming hot pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and baby carrots and those little green peas that look like eyes staring up at you from the sea of potatoes.

With a grin I looked at Barney... Oh Wow Will... I hope our CFO knows about this!

"It's only in first class and for us though, Coach still has chicken salad in a can."

Well bless their hearts.

Tiff pulled out the little desk tray built in and placed both mine and Barney's meals there... gave me a peck on the cheek and started to head out. A half second later she stopped.

"Oh by the way Drew, before I forget... I spoke to Jess last night. She wants to meet us in San Francisco when we are done out here... just to have dinner and talk... nothing bad, at least it did not sound that way."

I raised an eyebrow but acknowledged her...



I wonder what she is up to? And why San Francisco... couldn't she wait till we got back to Pit? Or at least when I do my next Pit to Miami run?

I was not sure what was going on there, but I figure I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

Our ACARS ticker started buzzing...

Message from Will... hope you enjoyed lunch!

I turned to Barney... Ok the Boss is starting to worry me here... somehow I feel like I'm being fattened up for the Thanksgiving dinner...

"Well Boss, it's like you always say... it's about commitment... In a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken is involved... but the pig is committed!"

Yeah... that's what I am afraid of... Hey wait, are you calling me a pig?

"Wouldn't dream of it Boss Hogg!" He roared with laughter...

Watch it there "Rubble"... or I'll throw us down on the runway again...

2 minutes of silence...

Then we both looked at each other and laughed heartily.

I am gonna miss Barney when he is promoted.



My cell suddenly rang... which was odd since I thought I had turned it off.

I asked Barney to take over duties and I huddled past the cockpit door to where the passengers could not see me... Looks like they were otherwise engaged in devouring their meals, and the flight attendants were in the aft of the plane finishing serving...

I answered the phone...

It was Earl, our HR guy. What's wrong Earl?

"Oh nothing's WRONG Drew, just calling to give you a heads up, head straight for the boardroom office when you land here. We're all waiting for you. See you in a few hours!"

... Ok... ?

This was getting wierder by the minute. Cryptic ACARS messages, in flight cell calls... now a meeting in the boardroom.

Had I done something wrong? Did I forget a report? If HR was going to be there that cannot be good...

I went back to the cockpit and sat back down, staring at Lolo's picture for a few minutes till Barney jabbed me on the arm...

"Boss... wake up... What happened?"



I dunno Barney, but I am starting to get the strange feeling I may not be long for this airline... problem is, I don't know what I may have done to warrant it.

"That's crazy talk Boss, you've done more for this airline in the last few months than most people I know! Not even Steve, working East Ops and moonlighting at CLT tower does more!"

Yeah but something here doesn't add up. Oh well, not gonna worry about it... Time to contact Kansas City Center...

Kansas City Center, USAir.... I mean Cactus 1551, with you at Flight Level 340.

Ugh... Cactus...



A couple hours later we were truly over Cactus country... New Mexico... only an hour left till we land, and I "face the music" as it were to answer to whatever phantom transgression the board of directors wanted to pin on me.

But we had other issues to deal with...

Tiffany burst into the cockpit... "Drew, passenger in 18C is not breathing!"

What?!!? I unbuckled my seatbelt and headed back with her to see the other flight crew hovering over this middle aged man, spread out on his seat...

Oh great, this could not get any worse... Now I will have a casualty on board! I know basic first aid and CPR, but that's about it.... I did the only logical thing I could think of...

DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE MEDICAL EXPERIENCE?

After a few short seconds a lady stood up... Long flowing brown hair and the bluest eyes I have ever seen... She came running down to the unconscious man and looked at us for a second, obviously wanting us to move.

"I'm a nurse back in Alabama, Lemme take a look here" she drawled...

She checked him as best she could... "He's breathing but shallow... put his seat back..." she commanded... Wanzetta reached in to push the button.



His wife was still in shock but told the nurse that he has had a history of sleep apnea and had had a few to drink due to this being his first flight.

I watched as the nurse roused him from his near death slumber, did some kind of massage on him and got him back to the world of the living.

Needless to say he was a little surprised to see the aircraft captain, 3 flight attendants, a nurse, and several onlookers staring at him.

"What? All I did was take a nap?"

A cheer burst out from the airplane, and people started sitting back down.

Ok sir, glad you are ok, if you need anything let Wanzetta know, and she'll take care of everything...

I turned to the nurse...

Thanks Miss... You are truly an angel in the skies. What's your name?

"Janean..." she blushed.

Well Janean I am going to put in that your next few flights on US Airways Virtual are going to be for free!

"That's not necessary, I'm just doin' my job..."



Well I always keep my word... be sure to check in at the desk when we get to Phoenix, I will have the clerk give you some vouchers.

"Thank you..." She beamed with a smile that exuded southern charm, and her eyes twinkled brighter than the sky outside!

I turned and headed back to the cockpit... Nothing to see here folks, we'll be down in about 45 minutes or so.

When I got back, Barney was on pins and needles...

"WELL?"

He lived Barney... I have not lost one yet... today was not the day.

Remind me to mention this to the board of directors when I see them... maybe that will save my proverbial bacon.

"Sure thing Boss Hogg, hee hee hee.."

I glared at him.



Arizona... and with it... initial descent to FL220. The comms seemed a bit busy today... I guess Cactus Ops is buzzing, since this is our primary hub. It reminds me of the glory days in Pittsburgh when we had over 150 flights daily... Now our airport looks like a ghost town, with Frontier moving into our turf, and the top end pulling back some flights...

I made a mental note to mention to the board how I feel they are making a bad move pulling flights from PIT... We still held the position of gateway to the west.

That's if they will listen to me... Maybe I can talk to the CFO and see what the numbers are from PIT... We've got to be still making a profit, it just makes sense to keep a bunch of flights there.

Heck last month I even had to lobby to get my regular flight to Miami readded to the schedule!

Sometimes I just don't get the logic behind corporate's moves... Maybe if I am allowed to keep this brand new COO position I can change that.



I made the call to Tiffany that we were descending so she could have the others gather up the empty trays and drinks. From the looks of it everyone loved their meals, and corporate will be happy to know we raked in the dough for the meal packs and drinks.

At this point I am just trying to find every positive that will save my job, which I firmly believe is now in jeopardy!

In any event, I made Barney a promise... he was to take us in, so I deferred to him and made the call to Phoenix approach that we were on the way down.

Barney fixed his shades and started his approach checklist.



They vectored us out north of Phoenix and had us come down some more to get into the traffic that was trying to come in on the parallel runways... Looks like we were going to come in on runway 8, one of the longer ones with a stunning view of the downtown area... I got my camera ready.

Tiff called back with Cabin secure, and everyone breathing well and awake.

Nice of her to add that in there... I was not sure how well I would be breathing when I got into that boardroom.

Ok Barney, cut some speed... we are not in a rush to get there...

"Well I know YOU aren't hee hee..."

Yeah well... you want me to sign off on your checkrides... remember I am Ops now.

"Sure thing Boss!"

He made a few slight adjustments and dialed in the ILS frequency for runway 8.

So far so good... This man is almost ready for his first left seat job in the A319.



I could see Phoenix in the distance by time we got down to 7000 feet and joined the traffic...

Beautiful town out in the middle of what I consider to be nowhere...

I guess I cannot get used to the whole out west thing... miles and miles of desert scrub, punctuated by cities. I am just too used to life out east where some areas are wall to wall city after city... especially the tristate area of NY NJ and PA.

Oh well... as long as they don't ask me to move out here I should be ok. I'm still trying to adjust to the whole time difference thing.

One thing was sure... we at least beat the sun out here.

Barney lowered the slats and flaps to setting three...



Steeler Air gently rose then settled back in to her proper altitude... I love the new Wilco systems...

Looking good so far Barney...

Phoenix tower vectored us downwind then turned us to base leg... our final turn before going straight in for the runway...

I was starting to see signs of life below... sprawling suburbs that indicate it's not much longer now before we are wheels down on the pavement and breathing in that dry Arizona heat.

We got the call to turn to final and I dropped our gear... Three green lights... clear to come in...

No sooner Barney and I finished our final checklist the aircraft shook!

WHAT THE HELL???

Out of the blue some company traffic zoomed by us unannounced... This plane could not have been more than a few yards away from our wingtips, and he just kept on barrelling in like he did not even see us.

I AM LIVID!!!



WHO THE HELL IS THAT? Barney did you catch the registration on the tail?

"Yeah Boss... looking it up now on ACARS"...

As I watched this maniac slide in in front of us on approach I thanked my lucky stars we did not collide, that would be all I needed... to end my life and the lives of over 200 people due to some pilot's idiocy!

Needless to say I was on the horn with Phoenix tower ASAP, and they acknowledged that the pilot was in the wrong place at the wrong time. US1139... Ok this dude is history when I get down there.

The tower DEMANDED he lose altitude and slow down, to allow us to pass him since we were first to land... and I thought of flipping the bird as we blew past him. Barney must have been thinking the same thing as I saw his middle finger go up as we went over and to the left!



Jackass! It is people like him that give the general public the impression that flying is not safe!

If it is the last thing I do I want his wings clipped!

I started to calm down and we set about our short final to the runway.

In the chaos that had ensued I almost forgot to turn on my camera to catch the downtown as we went past...

Luckily I got it just in time...



If nothing else, at least I got some good pictures... even if I am still convinced this may be my last time coming in to Sky Harbor airport.

I made the call to the flight attendants to prepare for landing, and with a nod to Barney and an acklowledgement to PHX tower, we brought Steeler Air in.



Barney had us lined up perfectly, and proceeded to turn off the autopilot and hand fly us in.

I fought the urge to hold the sidestick...

This is HIS time... He's got to do it on his own... That way I know he is ready for the job.

So far so good again... losing just enough altitude and he is riding the throttles to make sure we neither overshoot the runway, nor drop out of the sky...

In short... he's doing a GREAT job!



I blew a kiss to Lolo... even if she wasn't talking to me, she is my inspiration... I take her picture with me everywhere to remind me of what matters most.

Whatever happens in the boardroom, I will have my Lolo with me.

The Airbus started its automatic callouts...

500 feet...

400 feet...

approaching minimums...

minimums....

200 feet...

Barney was like a rock... a man in control of this beast, as Southwest looked on I am sure with envy at the hold short area of the runway.

50... 40... 30... 20... 10... ritard... ritard... Barney dropped the throttle and settled us in to kiss runway 8.

Outstanding Barney!

"Thanks Boss!"



No sooner we got off the runway, I heard PHX tower call to the maniac, to go around. Barney opened his window and flipped him off again...

"I got his name Boss... Elwood Gray."

Good... You wait till I talk to his hub manager. He will be lucky to be flying a paper airplane in the mailroom when I am done with him!

As we pulled flaps back in, and released the autobrakes, I could not help but think how close to death we came... and how this entire flight seems to have had some kind of black cloud of drama over it...

At this point... whatever happens in the boardroom is anticlimactic!



ACARS acted up again... another message from Will... Welcome to Phoenix, where big things happen... See you in a few.

"That dude is too happy for his own good Boss."

I could not help but chuckle... whatever he and the board had planned for me, it had better be good...

Something big had to be going on, the Cardinals plane was sitting there where we were headed.

Usually when I see that one or the retro America West, the board of directors is not far away...

Well Barney, no matter what happens... it's been a pleasure.

"Boss... the fat lady hasn't sung yet..."

With my luck there was probably a 300 lb opera singer complete with viking helmet and shiny breastplate waiting to serenade me with an aria in the boardroom...

Barney belly laughed so loud I thought the entire aircraft could hear him.



I checked our clock... 3 minutes ahead of schedule...

Looks like the lessons I learned from our CEO two CEO's ago paid off... On time every time!

Even though he was long gone with his own new airline formed, I could not help but wonder how he was...

The old Board of Directors and he had always butted heads but I can say the new board was always very approving to me... After all, most of them are people I have worked with and been promoted with.

I shouldn't worry... they KNOW I have an awesome track record, and I have been making the company money and producing some great pilots at PIT... some of whom have progressed to management, like Dan.

We pulled up to the gate...



Hmm there's Nick B's 757 here... He's our most senior pilot, amassing some 1000+ hours.

Hopefully I will have time to catch up with him and hear some of his stories of his flights... and tell him a few of my own.

I put on the brakes, and turned off the seatbelt signs.

Tiffany thanked the passengers for flying with us, and with a firm handshake to Barney I started to get my jacket.



When all the passengers had left I gathered my flight bag, and headed out behind Barney.

"Good luck Boss" he added as he went up the jetway, and with a sigh I headed up myself.

Tiff was at the desk talking with that nurse, Janean... and as a man of my word, my first task was to authorize 6 vouchers for free travel on our airline. She was so elated and grabbed hold of me and gave me a big kiss on the cheek.

I could see Tiff's eyebrows raise, but then she broke into a chuckle.

As soon as the nurse had turned to leave, Mike Moro came up... huge grin on his face.

He shook my hand. I knew Mike from back in the KPIT days, and he had taken the job of VP of Focus Cities when I got thrust into this position.

What's going on Mike?

"Oh you'll find out soon enough, come on. I'll have them take your bags there, we got a date with destiny here."

Tiff blew a kiss and Mike called for the lil golf cart to haul us over to the boardroom office.



The boardroom...

Actually the first time I have ever seen this room. It is definitely decadence incarnate... mementoes of a company who is proud of where it is today, and what it took to get there.

As I walked in I saw all the faces I expected to see... Mike Merali our CFO, Steve Bumpus our East Ops head, Steve Cocks our Cactus Ops (west ops) head, Josh Drummond the infamous Strutbuster and head of CLT hub, Ryan Flynn our technology VP, Earl Reed in HR, and of course.. Mike and Will Sanson, our interim CEO.

The whole gang is here... they all got up from their seats and started giving me a standing ovation.

WHAT THE HELL?

Will came over to me.

"Mr Bolton... it is my great honor, with the blessing of the board of directors, to officially offer you the permanent position of Chief Executive Officer of US Airways Virtual Airlines. Do you accept?"

My jaw dropped... Time stood still... I don't know how many seconds passed as I stood there drooling on the carpet...

Umm... YES... I accept!

The room erupted in applause. "Do you know who you would like as your Chief Operations Officer?" Will asked.

That was a no brainer... Mike Moro.

"Then it's settled... Mr. Bolton, this is now your company. Do us all proud."

Well... I guess no fat lady today... but I still feel like the pig... COMMITTED!

Well my first act with this new authority...

I got the phone and called down to dispatch... This is Drew Bolton... When Elwood Gray comes in... tell him to pack his bags... HE'S FIRED!



A few hours later, I sat back down inside Steeler Air... Tiffany came in.

She patted my arm, and sat beside me.

"You ok Drew?"

Yeah... Hey listen... I never really got a chance to thank you for everything you do for me.

"Don't worry about it. You need to save it for your wife... when we see her in Frisco. I know she'll appreciate it."

She gave me a sweet kiss, and winked at me on her way to the front of the cabin.

She stopped and turned...

"Remember, heavy is the head that wears the crown.... Boss..."

What a day....