USAIR TALES # 17 KCLT - MKJS A Major Issue... (Part 2)

Two hours later...

I've been listening to Josh jabber on about his bass guitar (he plays bass in a band in his spare time), and trying to get Lolo situated in first class...

Finally I was able to get her onboard and get started on my preflight... giving our CLT Hub Manager Josh Drummond, our preflight walkaround of the A321. Believe me the time alone was golden. I imagined he would talk my ear off the whole way to Jamaica.



With Christmas only a day away, I was anxious to get today's flying done and get to the hotel with Lolo and Tiff, where I would treat them to a luxurious vacation par excellance!

Chris had already left in his assigned CRJ regional jet, headed back to DCA with his writeup in hand, so now all I had to contend with was this 3 hour flight on AWE985 to Montego Bay. The plan was almost perfect... except for one thing. I never counted on what I call... "The Josh Factor".



"Plane looks fine Boss! We are ready and rearing to go! LET'S GIT R DONE!!!" Josh shouted as he sat down, startling a few incoming passengers, as well as George and Wanzetta on greeter duty.

Josh are you gonna scream that the whole time we are flying?

"Well... that's what we are doing right? Gittin 'Er Done?"

Well yeah, but seriously man, you don't have to shout it... Turn the volume down a notch please.

"Sorry Boss... git r done..."

There would be a lot of eye rolling on this flight... such as now...

We loaded on time and got our pushback clearance from Ryan, along with a warning that traffic was going to be bottlenecked this time of day.



As long as they are flying, I do not care... We had many months of pilots basically sitting on their rumps, so I was at least glad to see all of Charlotte's pilots actually out there to impress their boss and myself. I guess that "Pep Talk" our COO Mike Moro gave them a month back finally shook some sense into them.

Either that or Charlotte was hellbent on making Hub of the month with all the flight hours. Philly beat them two months running...

Whatever the case, I was happy about it... Until we rounded the corner of terminal B...



WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!

As I peered out the front it looked like a single Canadair Regional was facing the wrong way, tying up traffic. Everyone was halted to a standstill, as Ryan feverishly tried to get everyone their taxi orders, and clear the errant plane from the way of traffic.

It took half an hour to decide who went when...

Josh took it upon himself to open his side window and shout out to anyone within earshot...

"MOVE YOUR DAMN PLANE!!! I'LL HAVE YOU TERMINATED IF YOU DO NOT MOVE!!! CEO COMING THROUGH!"

Josh, they cannot hear you...

"I swear Drew, there is a lack of discipline going on here!"

Yes I can see that... By the way, it is YOUR hub? How do you account for this?

"THEY'RE IDIOTS!"

Uh huh...



30 Minutes later we finally navigated the mess and were parked at runway 32 waiting for yet another CRJ to come in.

This is not good... we are way behind schedule on a 3 hour flight... There's no way we are going to make Jamaica on time.

"Not to worry Boss, I got this! We'll make it! GIT R..."

I glared at him...

"I mean git r done..."

A couple minutes later Ryan gave us our takeoff clearance. I called to the flight attendants to be seated and had Josh do the honors.



From my vantage point this airport was a balled up mess. There were tons of aircraft taxiing, and it seemed to me that no one had any idea where they were going.

I cannot blame Ryan and the ATC staff though on loan from Las Vegas... They were doing the best job they could...

It was still a mess.



As we rolled down the runway I could have sworn I saw a near miss!

I made a mental note to talk to Steve about airport ops while he is on vacation. This is unacceptable!

I was interrupted by Josh's screaming.

"YEAH BABY!!! HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ROTATE THIS SUCKAH!"

Before I could tell him to shut up, the Wilco systems had us rotating to a very steep 20 degrees just in time before we had a tail strike...

Sheesh... ok this is not a good start!

Josh was laughing as we went gear up and started our positive climb.



What is it about these CLT pilots?

I swear they are adrenalin junkies!

Ok Josh, now that we got the takeoff out of the way, can you do me a huge favor please and shush?

"Oh sorry again Boss... Takeoffs EXCITE me!"

Yeah well keep your excitement to yourself please! What is with all this haze today, this was not there when we landed earlier?



"Dunno Boss... It's Charlotte weather I guess... Not your usual KPIT huh?"

Oh no I am used to fog and snow, not this crap!

Ryan made his last call to us.

"Cactus 985, contact Atlanta control at 125.3... Have a safe flight you guys and Merry Christmas"

Contact Atlanta Center at 125.3, Cactus 985... Thanks Ryan, you too... Have a safe flight back to Providence.

With that we were finally on our way... allbeit LATE!



Columbia, SC in our sights, we transitioned to our cruise altitude of 35,000 feet.

"So Boss... what's the first thing you gonna do when we get to Jamaica mon?"

Get Tiff and Lolo to the hotel, and plop myself down for a long winter's nap.

"Aww man! Come on, we need to head to the bar and check out the chicks!'

Ok, YOU can check out the chicks... I already brought mine.

"Hahahaha yeah! By the way, your daughter looks niiiiiiice!"

THIRTEEN JOSH! Don't even start! THIRTEEN!

"Oh... sorry... did not know."

Once again... I rolled my eyes.



It did not take us long to reach Columbia, and I decided in a few moments I would have Tiffany and company start drink service...

I got her on the phone and made her aware.

"Everything ok in there Drew?"

Yeah Tiff... Josh is just a little excited about the trip.

"Ok... oh and tell him if he slaps my butt again, I am gonna deck him!"

I stared at Josh... Ok Tiff... I'll tell him.



As I saw the coast of South Carolina in the distance and our aircraft approached our cruise altitude, I took a moment to relay Tiffany's message.

By the way Josh, Tiff says if you slap her ass again she is gonna knock you out.

"WHA? But but... NO! I did not do that!"

She says you did... You trying to tell me that my girlfriend is a liar?

"But... No... My hand slipped! I went to grab something off the desk! She was in the way!"

I sighed...

Josh... Do not mess with Tiff... If she don't kick your ass... I will... and then I am gonna fire you!

....

"Yes Sir!"



With us at cruise and drinks being served, I let Josh takeover flight duties and went to first class to see how Lolo was doing.

Luckily she had an empty seat next to her. I sat down.

How you doing there Lolo the Cat?

She immediately started crying.... what the?

"I miss him Dad!" she blustered as she hugged me.

I tentatively glanced around at the other passengers...

Missed who?



"My boyfriend Seth..." she added.

Boyfriend? Since when do you have a boyfriend?

"HAD DAD! HAD! I broke up with him last week? Didn't you get my email?"

Ummm... no?

"AAAAGH! MEN! Go away! I don't want to talk to you" she said as she pushed me away and continued crying.

Ok, I am totally lost here... I got up and shrugged to the lady opposite Lolo, who was eyeing us intently.

"Don't worry Captain... I'll talk to her" the passenger added.

I nodded and headed back to the cockpit. Tiff was about to serve lunch.



Josh was jabbering away again about something...

Sorry I was not paying attention... I was concerned about my daughter, and sent Tiff to check on her after she was done serving first class...

By the time Tiff reported back we were just east of Daytona Beach, FL...

The door opened...

"Drew... can you go sit with Lolo again, she says she is having a major issue here."

I sighed yet again. Is she gonna push me away this time?

"Just get back there." Tiff commanded.

I looked to Josh, who gleefully gave me a thumbs up, and went back to my daughter.



"Dad... You ever love someone so bad it hurts?"

I did not know how to answer that... After all, I loved her mom.

Well yes dear... I have. Why?

"Well I gave Seth the best months of my life! I kissed him the way he wanted to be kissed... I showed up for every football game... I even had to beat some bitch down who tried to look at him funny"

A couple passengers turned their heads... Umm... Since when does my daughter cuss? Wait... kissing? What?

Lolo... you're not... well... you know... having... S-E-X... are you?

"WHAT?!?!?! NO DAD! I AM A VIRGIN!"

I nervously glanced at the other passengers chuckling...

"Just... Just go away!"

She pushed me away AGAIN!

As I shrugged and made my way back to the cockpit a second time, Josh was announcing to the passengers on the left side that if they looked out the window they could see Cape Canaveral.



A few minutes later we were passing West Palm Beach, and headed out to sea.

"Hey Boss... did you take care of your daughter?"

I dunno Josh. I do not understand teenagers... She's crying about some boy...

"Want me go talk to her?"

NO. Just leave her be!

"Ok ok, chill out there Papa Bear! Jus' tryin' ta help!"



It was silent for a few minutes till Josh started humming some 80's rock tune I could not place.

I did not think much of it, till he started humming louder and playing air bass guitar.

"... OOOOH BABY!"

JOSH!! Can you shut up PLEASE for just 30 minutes?

"Sorry Boss."

Ugh... why must everyone always apologize to me?

"Cause you are the Boss, Boss!"

Well can it please.

Knock on the door again... Tiff popped in. Looked like she had company behind her.



Lolo bustled past Tiffany...

"Dad, we need to talk NOW." And with that she plopped down in the jumpseat. Tiff shrugged and closed the door.

Lolo, I am busy flying.

"Hey there Lolo!" Josh added.

I glared at him.

"DAD! You are always too busy! When are you gonna make time for ME? You SAY you are my dad, but I never get to talk with you anymore!"

Checkmate.... she had me there.

Go ahead Lolo, I am listening.



"I think Seth cheated on me."

Umm... define cheating?

"He has been kissing other girls! My friend Bianca, told me that Karen told her, that Chantay told her that she saw him frenching Angela!"

I tried as best as I could to follow that logic...

"Dad, I LOVE HIM! But I cannot stay in a relationship with a boy who is gonna do this, ya know?"

I know...

I am still reeling... When did my daughter start having boy trouble?

"What do I do Dad? I hate him!"

"But you just said you love him a minute ago" Josh added...

"Who is this dork?" Lolo asked.

That's Josh... pay him no mind... He is flying the plane, RIGHT Josh?

"Yes Boss."



Ok Lolo, so lemme get this straight. This... BOY... you been... dating... he is kissing other girls?

"YES DAD! Haven't you been listening? Bianca told me..."

Ok ok I got that part... So why would you want to be with a boy like that then?

"Cause he is an awesome kisser! And he is captain of the Middle School football team... and he does this thing with his tongue..."

WHAT?!?!?!?

I could see Josh's eyes light up...

I swear to god Josh if you say ONE WORD, you are staying in the bathroom till we land.

Lolo... what kinda thing with his tongue are you talking about?



"Kissing Dad! He knows how to french kiss... And he is doing it with other girls" she started bawling again.

Josh leaned over...

"She knows how to french kiss? Damn Drew!"

Josh... for the last time... shut up.

Lolo. Stop crying please. If he is gonna do that to other girls, then he is obviously not right for you. The man... err boy that is right for you will devote his time TO YOU... Not to others.

I could not believe what was coming out of my mouth. I was giving relational advice to my daughter. This is freaky... considering my own relational issues with her mom.

"Dad... I am over him. He can go fu..."

LOLO! Don't even use that language here!

"Well he can go freak himself! Can I borrow your phone? I wanna call up Mike."



First of all... NO... We are in a plane. Second of all... who's Mike?

"DAD! YOU DID NOT READ MY EMAIL??? AAAAGH!"

She slammed the door and went back to first class, sobbing all the way.

A few tense seconds later, Josh turned to me...

"She knows how to french kiss already?"

JOSH! Call Havana tower!



"You know Boss... I don't mean to pry, but what you need to tell her is she should not even be worried about boys at her age. I mean all boys that age wanna do is get in her pants."

Yeah... That is what I am afraid of Josh.

I admit it... I have been a bad dad. Here I am wondering when my daughter actually started growing up...

I have been so concerned with the airline that I have neglected the one person I consider "center of my universe".

I felt like a real turd.

Only one thing for it... I had to go back to first class.

Josh obliged...



By the time it took us to overfly Cuba and get within 100 miles of Jamaica, I think I had finally begun to understand this creature called a teenage daughter.

With the help of Mrs. Abernathy in seat 3F, I was able to convince her that she need not be so concerned with boys right now.

What she needed to do was concentrate on her schoolwork, and let relationships wait till later in life.

... At least I hope she understood that... At least she did not push me away this time.

As we started banking towards Jamaica, I made sure Tiff knew to check on her before we touched down.

It was time to get back to work... issues resolved as far as I was concerned.



Ok Josh, what did I miss?

"We are cleared to come on in runway 7... Looks like some Delta traffic in the area, and they just cleared us to begin our descent. I was about to announce it."

Ok well go ahead.

Josh announced to the cabin our initial descent into Montego Bay, and I reacquainted myself with the approach vectors to the airport.

"Hey Drew? Can I land this thing?"

That depends... are you gonna land us smoothly?

"What? Oh... hahahah Yeah! I can git r done!"

Against my better judgement I agreed.



The initial descent was a little fast.

I had to open our spoilers to lose a bit of airspeed so that we actually were below the 250 knot cap by the time we hit 10,000 feet.

I could see Negril in the distance, and the Hotel we would be spending Christmas and the weekend in. I could not WAIT to find a nice soft bed and relax, if only for a few hours, barring any bickering between Lolo and Tiffany, as well as any interruptions from Josh.

It suddenly dawned on me that this flight would mark my transition to Executive Captain of the Airline... Well that was a bonus.



Near Negril, I dropped our landing gear, and handed everything over to Josh for our landing.

With the smile of a middle school kid, he gladly took hold of the sidestick and began our approach into final.

Ok Josh, remember... There are hills on the way in. Make sure you clear them before we start our glideslope in.

"Sure thing Boss......."

He stared at me.

Ok... Just this one time.

"GIT R DONE!!!!" Josh yelled! He was satisfied with my ok, and began our landing procedure.



We skirted the top of the island as Josh stared out the window.

"Boss, were you REALLY born here?"

What? You think I make this stuff up? OF COURSE I was born here!

"I'm just askin! You do not have a Jamaican accent?"

Well I have been in the USA since I was a kid. It happens! Besides which if I started speaking in patois... and pronounce it Pat Wa... you would not even know what I was saying.

"Pat Waaaaaaah. Ok got it."

Josh, just land the plane please.



The weather was as nice as tropical weather could get.

We made our way over the countryside as I checked in with Montego Bay for landing clearance...

By time we got over the bay, we would be on our way down.

I could taste the jerk pork already...



Tiff's announcement was our cue to start our glideslope in.

Are you SURE you can handle this Josh?

I can always take over for final... those winds off the beach can be a little tricky.

"I got it Boss... Piece of cake!"

Ok then...

In retrospect... that should have been warning sign number one.



So far we looked good... Lined up perfectly... but coming in a little too fast.

I made minor adjustments to our throttle and Josh put them back to his original setting.

Umm... no. Cut power.

"Drew if we come in that slow we are not gonna make the threshold... Just lemme handle it ok?"

Ok then... if you think you can do this... Be my guest. Just remember we are 30 minutes LATE, and we have 177 passengers on board, one of which is my daughter.

"I know I know... have faith man!"



I hate it when I am right... at our speed we ended up way too high.

Josh... look at the VASI lights... we are too high... Lemme call for a go around.

"We can do it... Watch me..."

That was the last time I ever trusted Josh Drummond.

We SAILED over the threshold and dropped speed and altitude so fast that I instinctively reached for the dashboard to brace for impact.

By the time N185UW touched down, not ONLY did we slam into the runway, but we freaking BOUNCED! We came back to terra firma a half second later and skidded to a halt half way down the runway!!!! Landing rate recorded as -963.08 feet per minute!!!! INSANE!



"Well... that was a rough landing. Didn't expect that sea breeze there Boss."

JOSH I AM GONNA KILL YOU!

"What what? We're still alive! It's fine we landed ok!"

I was fuming!

JUST GET US TO THE TERMINAL!

With a plaintive "Yes Sir." Josh did as instructed.



As we made the turn to taxiway alpha I could hear the plane struggle to come around, and felt the mushiness of the nose gear underneath us.

I swear to Gawd that is the LAST time I am flying with you "Strutbuster!"

"Sorry Boss... I know i had it!"

I do not wanna hear it... As a matter of fact, I do not want to hear ANYTHING out of you for the entire time we are at the hotel!

"But Boss..."

SHUSH!



We limped our way into the terminal... leaking hydraulic fuel all over the taxiway.

Montego Bay tower had a few choice words for us that I would rather not transalate from patois to the Queen's english... but to say they were not pleased at all was an understatement.

I don't think I have been cursed at so much in all my time as a pilot.

Of course Josh could not bear the full brunt of it as he had no idea what they were saying half the time.

We parked the jet, and I motioned for Josh to get out of my cockpit as I continued to try and calm down the authorities in Montego Bay.



Tiff and Lolo came in on the tail end of my arguing with them, and sat for a while chuckling amongst themselves.

I was not amused.

Imagine if you will... CEO of the airline. Responsible for everything that goes on in USAVA... responsible for the outcome of this flight... and a black spot on MY record as pilot in command for having had this plane basically crater runway 7 with a landing that most passengers debarking could only comment by saying:

"Did we just land or crash there?"

I was embarrassed to say the least.

I told Tiff and Lolo I would join them in a few moments, as I needed to get an estimate from our Jamaica maintenance crew on repairs to the gear.



$3,389,332 to fix!!!!!!!

THREE MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Well, there goes everyone's Christmas bonus and New Years bonus...

A very disgruntled Executive Captain, I made my way out of the plane to the desk at the top of the jetway.

There at the desk Josh was in process of reaching for his flight bag behind the desk. Tiffany JUST happened to be moving backward from the desk at that time and his hand made contact with her butt.

.... WHAP! ....

Laid out on the floor of the US Air virtual gate, Josh never saw her sucker punch coming.

------------------------------------------


On behalf of the Bolton family, and US Airways Virtual Airline, I would like to wish EVERYONE a very Merry Christmas!

See you next year!

USAIR TALES # 16 KPIT - KCLT A Minor Issue... (Part 1)

Christmas was coming and I had plans. I had decided to fly to Jamaica by way of Charlotte to spend the holidays with my family down there. Lolo had been bugging me to take her again, so I arranged for Jess to send her to CLT for the pickup. Should be good getting some beach time with my daughter... Lord knows we have not had much time to bond in the last few months.



I'd still been playing musical first officers up till now, allowing people who needed checkrides to fly with me on Steeler Air, and there seemed to be no end to the wealth of applicants. Alas, good ole N733UW was in the shop for another 100 hours maintenance, so dispatch stuck me with the blue oversized sausage... the A321. Sheesh. They could have at least had it repainted! As I got ready I checked the schedule to see who was going to join me on this flight...

Hmm, Chris Minor... oh yeah, he's that eager beaver pilot from LAS, or DCA, or wherever he hub-hopped to now... I seem to recall he is a good hand in the CRJ.

No sooner I thought it, there he was... Uniform pressed and shiny buttons.



Good morning Mr Minor! You're on time I see!

"Morning Chief! Ready and rearing to go!"

Good deal, I like that. Well hop in and let's get this show on the road. Now I trust you read the manuals on the Wilco improvements to the Airbus fleet right?

"Yeah.. yeah... went through the quickstart guide Drew. Seems easy enough."

Umm... ok... well the quickstart helps, but I actually meant for you to read the whole thing.

"Oh... well I brought it with."

Hmm... This could get interesting...



Tiffany interrupted our preflight in a moment...

"Drew. Our luggage is checked. I made sure to confirm the reservations in both Charlotte and Montego Bay, and WAIT till you see the bathing suit I bought!"

A smile beamed on my face... as well as that of my new first officer. I shot him a curious glance... His smile stopped. I could see him blush a little as he turned to stare at the ground crew outside.

Tiff giggled, then excused herself, closing the door behind.

Problem Mr Minor?

"Oh... NO sir!" He answered a little sheepishly.

I laughed heartily... It's ok Chris. Just about everyone in the VA thinks Tiffany is hot. I'm used to it. Come on, let's finish the preflight and get rolling.



I started the APU a little early, letting the old bird warm up some as we finished boarding, and turned to see Chris looking puzzled at the FMC.

You DO remember how to use the flight computer, right Chris?

"Umm... yeah yeah I do Drew." he began as he fumbled with a few buttons.

I shook my head. Here... let me program our weights in... You can watch me.

I could tell he was a little relieved, if not a little overwhelmed by the new Wilco systems. I told him he should have read the full manual... why people do not listen is beyond me.

In a couple minutes we got our clearance to pushback and I had Chris start our engines, then sat waiting for the tug to disconnect from us.



"Drew, I have a stupid question..."

No question is stupid Chris.

"Ok... how do you steer this thing?"

Chris are you SURE you read the manual? I pointed at the sidestick. I was beginning to wonder if he was really ready to move up from the regional jets...

He placed his hand on the stick and opened up the throttle just a little bit...

... No movement...

Ok, I'll get us rolling, you steer us side to side... we are going to runway 28 C... that way.

"Ok Boss!"



I pushed the throttles forward and hovered my left hand over my sidestick as Chris tentatively steered us along the taxiway.

There you go, now you got it. Much bigger than the CRJ isn't it?

"Yeah it is! I gotta tell you Drew I am soooo thankful you are giving me this experience! This is awesome!!"

Yeah well... we have not taken off yet. Wait till you see what this baby can do.



As we taxiied down the runway I figured it was in our best interests to go over the whole takeoff procedure, and pray he remembered it.

Halfway down the runway, he reached for something in his flight bag and let go the sidestick. Good thing I was holding on to mine.

What are you doing Chris???

He produced some shades and promptly put them on.

"Gotta have shades, can't stand the direct sunlight."

Yeah well NEVER take your hand off the sidestick when the plane is in motion.

"Oops, sorry."

Oops he says....



At runway's end I called for our clearance and moved us out onto 28 C. I waited for Tiff's call to the cabin that we were about to takeoff and had Chris make the announcement to the flight attendants to be seated.

Normally I would let my first officer do the takeoff, but it was becoming more and more apparent that Mr Minor had never actually FLOWN the 321 before, so I figured I better handle it this time.

Your job Chris is to call out gear up, and call out our height when we pass 2500 feet.

"Gotcha Boss... Let's rock!"

Indeed....



As we lifted off Chris let out a loud "WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!'

Gear Mr Minor... try to contain your excitement please.

"Oh yeah, right Drew! Gear coming up now."

Flaps too please...

"Flaps coming up now Drew!"

Not bad there rookie... ok NOW you can get all excited, just watch our altitude for me, I gotta call Pittsburgh departure.

The grin on his face was priceless.



"2500 feet Drew!"

Thanks Chris... I transitioned our throttle to "climb mode" and activated the autopilot for our turn to our first waypoint.

"Man this is sooooo cool! I never knew the Airbus was so sweet! The guys back in DC Regional will never believe this."

Oh is that what hub you are out of now? I swear Chris you are the "nomad of the airline"... PIT, PHX... now DCA... when you gonna find a station and stick with it?

"Hahaha" he chuckled, "Well I gotta try them all out till I find one that suits me!"

I rolled my eyes...



As we made our turn, the ACARS started spitting out paper. I asked Chris to get it and see if it was important... He shook his head and tossed it behind him.

Ok key thing in this portion of the flight is making sure the aircraft is showing the right attitude...

"Right cause no one wants to fly a plane with a bad attitude! Get it?"

I rolled my eyes again... You know what I mean there joker...

He nodded and continued chuckling.

Pit departure announced we were clear to climb to FL210, so I turned to Chris.

Pop Quiz... set our autopilot to climb to 21,000 feet.



The look of shock was all over him.

"Umm"...

I could see him looking intently all over to find just which button or knob he needed to use. From my side I adjusted the altitude setting on the autopilot and sat there as he wondered how the numbers were changing on their own.

Do me a favor Chris... take out the manual please... read through chapters 3 and 4 real quick.

"I'm sorry Drew... it's all a little new. I have to admit I was really excited when I saw I was gonna fly the A321. All I have flown up till now was the CRJs."

Suddenly it dawned on me... Umm.. what did that paper say?

"Oh that, nothing"



He stared out the window...

Chris. Give me the ACARS paper please.

Reluctantly he handed it to me.

My jaw dropped as I read it... Apparently Joe Espino says there was a dispatch error. I was supposed to be taking a different first officer on this flight, not Chris, who was scheduled for a CRJ flight today...

I glared at Chris.

"I'm SORRY DREW! Please don't fire me! I saw A321 and figured maybe they wanted me to start my training on it now!"



You just ASSUMED they wanted you to fly the A321? Chris how many hours flight time do you have with USAVA?

"48..."

OMG! You have FORTY EIGHT FLIGHT HOURS??? You are not even CLOSE to being ready for the Airbus series of planes!

"I'm sorry Drew... don't fire me please! I'll do anything. I cannot afford to lose this job!"

I sat there in silence for a couple minutes... fuming... Now it was making sense... the emails asking me about the Airbus... the request for the manual... and now this convenient dispatch error.

I had to figure out what I was gonna do with him.

My mom always told me if you cannot say something good... say nothing at all...



And that is what I did till we passed BURGS waypoint... I said nothing.

"Are you still mad at me Drew? I'm sorry sir."

SORRY DON'T PAY THE RENT MINOR! You realize what you have done is in clear violation of our SOPs. Even if the dispatch was in error, you KNOW you are supposed to bring that kinda thing up to your manager!

"I couldn't reach him! He was not in the office!"

You ever hear of email? You email ME often enough!

You are a category B pilot... you have no business in a category C aircraft!

"I know I just thought..."

That's the problem Chris. You did not think!

Tiffany popped in.

"Everything ok in here?"

Yeah Tiff aside from my first officer duping me.

"I said I'm sorry Drew. It's ok I will take whatever punishment you say. Just don't fire me PLEASE."



"Ok I am not sure i wanna know what's happening... here's your drinks" Tiffany said, placing our juice down.

I sat there drinking my juice as we continued our cruise to Charlotte... thinking what horrible punishments I could have Tony unleash on Chris. This flight certainly was not going to be counted in his log... but I reminded myself, no matter what happens... we still have 177 souls on board that demand a professional, safe flight to CLT. I decided I could deal with Chris when we landed.

Well Mr Minor... since I cannot kick you out of the plane... you had better get a "crash course" in Airbus piloting. We'll discuss your discipline later. For the next few minutes till the top of our descent I BETTER see you reading that manual!

"Yes sir!" he replied as he got out the manual.



Over the next 20 minutes he would refer to the manual, and look around the cockpit, feverishly trying to familiarize himself with the overhead panel, and the pedestal. I made the calls to the various ATCs along the way, until Atlanta center, which was my cue that we were about to begin our descent.

Tiff popped in to grab our cups and make sure everything was hunky dory on the flight deck, and a couple minutes after, the call came in to begin descending to 19,000 feet.



Mr Minor... please change our altitude setting.

Chris did as told and set the aircraft on a slow and steady descent to FL190.

Well, if nothing else... he learns quickly anyway.

"FL190 Captain..."

Thank You Mr Minor.

Tower called us down to 7000... Before I could say it, he had already dialed it in and stabilized our descent.



Just then ACARS spit out another piece of paper.

I decided to take it this time... Josh... he informed me he was ready and rearing to go to Jamaica and he would be my copilot on the next flight for this bird.

That ought to be fun...

"Drew, do I put out the flaps now or later?"

Not yet... wait till we get below 10,000 feet then give us setting two. You DO know what setting two is right?

"Yeah I just read up on how to do that... I will have it done"



I banked us into approach for runway 18R. Steve was not in CLT tower today, which was a surprise... usually he is there on Sundays... but his protege, Ryan Flynn, our resident tech guru was...

It was a pleasure to hear Ryan's voice as we came in. Seems like he has learned the ropes of ATC pretty well.

Just below 10,000 feet I could hear the slats extend and like clockwork Chris had the landing lights on, the autobrake set to medium, and the ground spoilers armed.

Nice work Mr Minor....

"Thanks Drew. By the way, for what it's worth, I am really glad you are our CEO."

I appreciate the sentiment... you are still getting punished however. Now let's get ready to land this thing. Inform the cabin please.



Chris made the announcement that we were coming down to land.

I had to admit it... the kid has potential... but breaking the rules is no way to rise up the career ladder. I would have no choice but to withhold his pay and hours for this flight, and have a reprimand placed in his record...

I would also make a note that once he accrues the hours he should be fasttracked to the Airbus course officially.

It might seem like a "minor issue" to him, but flying out of category is a major no no for the airline.

I was pretty sure it won't be happening again.



4600 feet and ready for our turn to final approach.

I had Chris reread the landing procedure and with the effort of a speed reader he went through the book faster than I ever did.

"Ready Captain!"

Ok... I acknowledged as I waited for Ryan to clear us in.

Without delay Mr Flynn gave us our landing orders... and I banked us to line up on 18R



Gear out please...

"Gear out Captain!"

Flaps to full please...

"Flaps to full aye, Captain."

Thanks, and you can drop the aye... we are not on the Starship Enterprise here.

"Sorry Drew..."

And for Gawd's sake stop apologizing!



We cleared the outer marker and swooped in on a perfect glide slope.

Chris took mental notes as we passed the medium marker to the runway.

I dropped our throttle and brought us down gently.

Well... as gently as this oversized sausage would allow anyway... I was not going to be getting any stellar Steeler Air landings today, but at least I would not be creating more potholes...



Chris mimiced the callouts for altitude as we crossed the threshold and set her down.

Not a bad landing indeed... but not perfect.

I hoped it was enough for Chris to get the idea when his time actually came to fly the Airbus as to how it is done.

"Nice landing Drew"

Thank you. I am gonna give you taxi duties to the gate by the way. Consider it a Christmas gift.

He chuckled...



Still a little jerky on the turns, but Chris did a decent job taxiing us back and to the apron.

When we got to our turnoff I opted to pull us up to the gate.

I could tell he was a little disappointed, but not by much. Even though he would have to deal with his discipline, he was right... He would be the envy of his regional pilot peers, having flown with the CEO on one of the "big planes".



What have you learned today Chris?

"Oh a LOT! I now know how the Airbus operates... how to work the Wilco systems... proper taxi procedure..."

And what else???

He blushed...

"Oh yeah... and not to fly aircraft out of my category. I promise this won't happen again!!"

I should hope so. I am gonna issue a reprimand, but I am also gonna note in your record that when you gain the proper hours you are first in line for formal Airbus training.



"Thanks!" He beamed...

Somehow I think I just made his day... even though he was not getting paid.

ACARS spit out another slip of paper...

Josh again... telling me to hurry up so we can get some island sun!

I swear that guy has no life sometimes... sheesh.

Tiff popped in to let me know she heard from Jess and Lolo's plane should be pulling in any minute as well from Ft Lauderdale...

Excellent... I could not wait to see my daughter.



I pulled us up to the gate...

Pop quiz Mr Minor... shutdown procedures...

He took a breath, and went through the checklist, turning off every switch needed, then waiting for the ground power to be connected so he could switch us over to that.

Granted he did do some of them out of order, but he got them all. Yeah... when he is ready... I'll give him another crack at the Airbus.

Not bad Mr Minor.



After we debarked our passengers... for which I had him say goodbye and thank you for flying to every single passenger who left the plane, I had my writeup finished and transmitted a copy to Tony Pitt in DC, as well as Will and Joe in HR.

I got my coat and joined the crew in the jetway.

Mr Minor... Merry Christmas.

"Merry Christmas Drew" he replied as he shook my hand. I handed him his writeup.

At the top of the jetway I was met with an impatient Josh, ready for the Jamaica run...

"BOSS!!!!!!!! I am so pumped for this trip. You and me man! Together in the skies! We gonna GIT R DONE!!!!!"

Josh... calm down... we don't leave for another 2 hours already.

There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see my gorgeous 13 year old, escorted by USAVA personnel.

"Hi dad."

I hugged her like there was no tomorrow.

(end of part one)