USAIR TALES #15 KDCA - KFLL The trouble with FO's

November 18, 2008...

It's funny... I don't FEEL older...

But yet here I am... 38 today... in our nation's capital once more... getting ready for my next flight, to sunny Ft Lauderdale, Florida... my home before moving to the Steel Town.

It's been an interesting week. Going before congress to ask for a piece of the bailout pie, since the airlines are not doing so hot... Needless to say we fared about as well as GM did... which is to say, not good at all. There is something draining about fighting career politicians, as I am sure Will Sanson, my partner in crime on capitol hill could attest to. For three days our delegation from USAVA as well as those of United, Northwest, Delta, and American lobbied our case, only to end up looking like the orphan child Oliver asking "Please sir... can I have some more?"

I hate losing battles...



It felt good to be back in Steeler Air. At least I had a few minutes before the crew came in. Time to reflect on my past year of life... and what a year it had been.

Probably the only unresolved issue now was what to do at the First Officer position. Nick had been flying with me off and on (when I actually could get out of the office) and even after 5 flights, I still could not quite get used to his ways. He's a young kid... I am sure he will get it, but why he keeps approaching the Airbus like it is a Boeing 737 is beyond me. I figured I would give him one last shot to get it right here.

I missed Barney...



Sure as shooting, 30 minutes before pushback, there they were.... Nick in his sharp uniform, followed by Tiff, George, and Wanzetta. Tiff gave me a peck on the cheek, and brushed past Nick on her way to check the galley.

"Morning Mr. CEO!" he began.

Morning Mr. Cooper. You ready for Fort Lauderdale?

"Sure thing! I studied those manuals you gave me, I am pretty sure I got it this time."

Good. Can't have us landing on the wrong runway again like we did in Denver... That's a dealbreaker there.

He anxiously chuckled... "Well it wasn't in use, was it?"

I shook my head. Btw... why do you still have four stripes on your sleeve? I thought we discussed that?

"Oh sorry... this was the only uniform I could find. Won't happen again Boss!"

Yeah... better not.



After boarding was complete we set about pushing back, and I opted to give Nick taxi duties as I checked our flight plan in the computer.

We were just about to leave when word came over ACARS to pull back to the gate for one more passenger. What the hell?

Before I could protest, the tug was bringing us back in and George was already popping his head through the door to find out what was wrong.

Last minute passenger George... Dispatch insists we board him. Ugh. Get ready to open the door.

I shut down the number 2 engine and quietly cursed to myself.

In a moment I got a gander at who it was who delayed my flight... None other than Will himself, complete with his uniform.

"Sorry Drew... didn't want to miss this flight. You can reprimand me later."

Ok.... I shook my head again and waited for the second pushback.

"Hi Mr Sanson! You jumpseating?" Nick asked.

"Yeah Nick... you might say that." Will replied.

OK are we all ready this time? I interupted... I was getting a little agitated. I hate being late.

Positive nods from both, and I signalled to the ground crew to get us out of here.

Sheesh... Already my birthday was starting off wierd.



As promised I had Nick taxi us to runway 33... one of the shorter ones... the one that puts us dangerously close to the Pentagon. So far he seemed to have an idea of where to go... he should afterall... prior to flying with me he did a lot of runs in and out of DC.

I looked back to Will.

I'm still pissed about capitol hill... I thought with the coalition in full force we might have actually made some inroads there.

"Drew you know as well as I do that for as much as our gov't does, it's still in ways bush league. Those suckers only care about their paychecks... It's a shit sandwich here... we just have to take a bite."

Yeah... I think I am starting to get used to the taste sadly...

It certainly was rough at the top for me... With the airline still in the red and wracking my brain on how to fix it, it is any wonder why anyone still supported me... even Tiff... having moved in finally and still having to put up with my moods. Hell, Will knew... he was at the airline's helm before I was. He gave me my job. I couldn't help but think he was probably just passing the buck.

"Hey Drew... you ever notice how this sidestick is kinda mushy. It's like you have to PUSH to get the plane to move the way you want it!" Nick began... and with an emphasis on push, swung N733UW left and right for a second down the taxiway.

"What the hell are you doing Cooper! This isn't a video game! Stay on the centerline!!" admonished Will.

Nick... don't worry about the sidestick, just get us to the runway please... and DON'T do that again!

"Sorry Boss..." he sheepishly replied... and under his breath I could hear him say "But it's still mushy."



As we made our way to the runway, I could see Tony Pitt's plane ahead... Off to Nassau again. I swear he always gets the sweet trips. Well, I guess he has earned it, having become Station Manager recently and singlehandedly pulling our numbers back up in DCA.

I motioned to Nick to back off of his plane a little as Tony settled in to hold short position and called the tower for takeoff clearance.

"Hey Drew... can I do the takeoff this time?"

Will rolled his eyes...

Umm Nick, after the last time? I am not so sure that is a good idea.

"Aww come on, I did not HIT the lights, just kinda brushed them!"

I could glipse Will out of the corner of my eye putting his head in his hands.

I dunno Nick... this is a very sensitive flight path... we cannot veer too far left or right here. I have NO desire to be shot down by F-15s today.

"I PROMISE I will do it by the books! Just lemme show you what I learned!"

I looked at Will... He shrugged his shoulders.



I swear to Gawd Nick if we get shot down you will face me in Hell!

He grinned knowing he had won this round.... this time.

As soon as we got the word, we moved out onto runway 33 and I made sure to have him stop fully.

As we waited for our cue, Will ran through the checklist with him, as I sat there pondering all sorts of endgame scenarios of Air Force pilots punching holes in my plane over the Potomac.

"Checklist complete" Will announced from the back seat... and I nodded to Nick to bring us up to speed while holding the brakes.

Ok... NOW. Release brakes... remember this is a SHORT runway!!!

Nick beamed with glee and started us rolling down 33 with avengeance.

Steeler Air growled as we hit 140 knots and began to roll into our climbout.

Gear up please.



Nick did as told and pulled us up to a 15 degree climb.

"See, I told you I could do it!"

Eyes on the skies Cooper. Watch the flight path marker, we still got 900 feet till we can turn on the autopilot.

From behind me Will peered out the window.

"Oh shit... we're getting kinda close to the Pentagon here."

"No no, it's ok I got it Mr Sanson! Piece of cake!" Nick reassured.

I was not so optimistic... yeah we were getting a little close to that precious piece of real estate.

Nick veer to the right please.

Nick VEER RIGHT.

At the last minute he pushed the sidestick to the right to clear the outer perimeter of the Pentagon no fly zone.

"Good God man! You got a death wish don't you?" Will exclaimed, throwing his hands up!

Ok listen Nick if you are gonna continue to fly DCA routes you need to take this way more seriously here! We cannot play with no fly zones.

"Well, I didn't fly IN the no fly zone."

I slapped my hand against my forehead.



I wondered how many angry generals would be filling my voicemail by time I got back to my office.

A perfect end to a perfect Washington DC trip... sheesh. I'll be lucky if my company is even allowed to fly to DC again!

"I dunno what the big deal is anyway? We are not terrorists... we're just doing our jobs here. Besides this control is a little mushy."

Nick the damn controls are fine... Just fly the plane already. Get ready for our turn.

"Drew if you want I can takeover for him and have him jumpseat the rest of the way." Will offered.

I raised my hand, as Nick prepared to say something in protest.

Just... fly... the plane. You're coming up on our turn...



5 miles out we made our turn to the south and cleared the no fly zones to open airspace... and suddenly it dawned on me that our autopilot was still not on.

Is there any reason why we are still on manual?

"I like to fly this way. I like the control."

Ok, well we need to be on autopilot now.

"Aww come on Drew, can't I fly us up to transition altitude at least?"

As sure as the words left his mouth we hit turbulence... and since he was pleading with me he did not notice us start to shudder violently.

I grabbed a hold of the sidestick on my side.

NO! That's it... activate the autopilot now!

Nick did as told and slumped back in his seat, pouting.

"Kid, if you ever wanna captain this thing you better start doing it by the books here. You're lucky I am not still CEO, I'd have you sitting in coach by now."

Nah it's ok Will... crisis averted.



Past 12,000 ft, Mr. Cooper decided he really needed to take a pee.

With a roll of my eyes, I gave him the ok to get up.

No sooner he shut the cockpit door, Will jumped into the First Officer's chair.

He's not gonna liiiiike that Will... I chuckled.

"Drew, you are too soft with these young kids. You know damn well he washed out of Airbus simulator training, why do you keep giving him another chance?"

I dunno Will, I guess somewhere in there is a good pilot waiting to come out.

"Yeah well I hope you got good insurance."

I could not help but laugh... Will was always pretty brash. He tells it like it is and holds no punches.

After a minute, my first first officer came back into the cockpit to see his seat taken.

"HEY! What you think you're doing? That's my seat!"

"Not anymore dude... there's your seat." Will pointed at the jumpseat.

"Drew tell him to get up!!"

Nick, Will outranks you, I suggest you sit down. I am sure he will give it back to you on approach.



With a pout he sat down... and all was quiet.

...

Over the Virginia-North Carolina border, Nick asked to be excused again... and I granted it once more.

"Oh by the way, Happy Birthday Drew." Will began, "Been a rough week, but when we get to Lauderdale, first beer's on me"

Thanks Will... I could sure use one right now.

"Almost forgot... I am gonna catch a flight back tomorrow to Vegas. After that last disaster on the hill, I pretty much decided I am gonna resign my board position and just go back to flying."

WHAT?!?! Will... you cannot do that! The board needs you! Washington is Washington, even you know that... you can't just give up?

"Nah it's more than that man... I know the VA is in good hands now, you guys will be fine. Joe Espino already expressed interest in taking my place. I'll make it final when you get to Phoenix."

I knew better than to argue with Will...

... But I did not have to like it.



The door opened once more but instead of Nick, it was Tiffany.

Hey dear. Lunch time already?

"No Drew. Nick told me you and Will kicked him out of the FO seat? Why did you do that?"

"WHAT THE F..." Will started angrily "That little SHIT went and told on us?"

"Will I don't care if you are the former CEO, you two need to apologize to Nick and let him fly the plane again!"

You have GOT to be kidding me...

"Oh no Missy, you are NOT talking to me that way. Who do you think you are anyway?"

Will.. WILL... calm down.

I reached an arm out to keep Tiff from getting in his face.

Where is Nick?

"He's pouting in the galley. Drew you need to do something!"

Ok ok... tell him to come up here.



By time we hit the Atlantic... Nick was back in his seat, and Will was behind him making all sorts of obscene gestures and calling him "little prick" under his breath.

It was all I could do to keep from chuckling.

I cannot believe he went and told Tiffany that we were bullying him. What the hell did he expect Tiff would do? OH I had decided that after this flight... no more... He can go bug Josh or someone... there was NO WAY IN HELL he was ever getting back into Steeler Air again, even with an order from the President of the United States himself!

"Drew I been thinking... I really don't think the Airbus is for me. If possible I would like to go back to flying 737s again."

I could FEEL Will boiling in the back.

Nick we will discuss this when we get back to our offices.

"You think I can get my old job back as captain of the 737?"

Nick.... we will discuss it later.

"I mean I like the airbus and all, but it's just too mushy for me"...

At that point Will got up and started throttling him.

"Why you little shit! You are lucky we let you fly a Beech 1900 with your piss poor attitude!!!"

WILL!! Let him go!

OMG you two chill the hell out! Nick do me a favor... get out of the seat. Let Will sit there.

"But Drew..."

GO!

Tiffany cracked the door open.

NO Tiff... not now!

The door cracked shut.



I stared at Lolo. I knew I would see her at the airport... she was my only solace. After a week of battling congress, and a flight of battling First Officers I was going to need a "Lolo hug".

Will settled back in, put on his headset, and glanced back at a noticeably angry Nick in the jumpseat.

"What? You gonna step? Sit yer puppy ass down and shut the hell up."

I motioned for Will to chill, and we cleared the next waypoint to our top of descent point. Good... less than an hour left.

I turned on the fasten seatbelt sign in preparation for our descent.

A minute later the door opened once more... I really gotta start locking that damn door.

Wanzetta poked her head in...

"Captain... You need to talk to George... I think he done lost it."

I looked at Will... NOW WHAT?!



I got up and went back to first class. There in heated conversation was a diminuitive lady dressed in a gold trimmed Sari, obviously an upper caste Indian... and George, towering over her with ascot flailing from side to side.

"How dare you talk to me that way! In my country I am treated like a Princess!" the passenger yelled.

"Yeah well in MY country I am a QUEEN, so I outrank you, now sit down bitch!" George retorted, doing the chickenhead.

I had Wanzetta pull him back to the galley, as I proceeded to calm down our irate passenger.

I offered her a travel voucher which she grudgingly took and announced to the other passengers that everything was ok. I apologized for the scene, and headed back to the cockpit.

As I passed George I glared at him.

We're gonna have a talk when we land George... Now y'all get ready for approach.



After her announcement, Tiffany popped in to make sure we were ok...

Yeah Tiff... I've had worse days.

"Look at the bright side Drew... couldn't be as bad as capitol hill..." Will added.

Right about now, I'll take cross examination from tight lipped senators than this fiasco on board.

I swear it had to be the full moon influence...

The moon makes people crazy...

Hence the term... Lunatics.

At least I could see our destination pop up on the Nav Display.

I stared out to sea for a little while.



The tower announced an Air Canada A320 within 5 miles of our position. I caught sight of it and called out to the tower that we had them in sight.

I glanced back to Mr Cooper and he was out like a light. I motioned to Will.

"You know I could be a real dick right now and play drill sergeant with him..."

No... no... this is his last flight on this plane anyway. Let him be.

"You're no fun anymore Drew" Will replied.

Hell... maybe i AM getting old.



We continued to follow Air Canada in over the water as we came down past transition altitude and onto approach altitude.

As expected, the warm Florida air brought with it turbulence around 12,000 feet... which of course woke Nick up with a start.

The proximity warning went off as Air Canada changed course to lead us and a barely awake but alarmed Nick jumped from his jumpseat.

"WHAT'S THAT SOUND?!?!?!"

Nick sit down... it's only the proximity warning. We are behind an ACA 320.

"See this is why I like the 737, it does not do that."

"I swear to God if you talk about the 737 again..." started Will

Ok folks come on here... we gotta land this thing, get back on track here.

"I'm just saying... the 737 is better..."

"I'm gonna kill him Drew... I swear I am gonna kill him..."

Chill out guys!

Jeez...



Lake Okeechobee...

Not a moment too soon.

"Ummm Drew? You said I could land this time, remember?"

Will was just about to say something to him when I interjected.

OK OK. Yeah Will, I did promise him this time.

"Fine. Take over kid. But you even so much as breathe the wrong way... you'll be in a Cessna for the rest of your life."

Nick nodded anxiously and replaced Will once more in the FO seat.

Will can you do the checklist please?

The former CEO read off the items in prep for approach, and Nick dutifully checked every item.

I resigned myself to clearing with the tower our approach to runway 27R.



2000 feet up, and within 20 miles of FLL I had nick drop our gear. We could still see Air Canada ahead turning to final approach.

From the sounds of it, looks like Lauderdale was busy today. I prepared us for the possibility of gear up and a holding pattern.

Luckily the tower assured us that we would be next to land as soon as the Cannucks got their tails on terra firma.

Ok Nick... slow us down to around 160... we'll bring her in nice and easy to give ACA some time.

"Sure thing Drew" he responded cheerfully as he pulled the throttle back some.



As we made our turn to final approach, Will leaned forward and mumbled to Nick...

"Don't mess this up. I got my eye on you."

I shushed Will and reminded Nick of the importance of getting our landing timing right.

He did not seem very nervous... just a little set aback by the events of the flight.

I figured he had enough stress just trying to land this thing so I did my duties and let him take it on his own.

Will started humming the jeopary tune behind me.

Needless to say I chuckled.



Ok drop us to 150 knots... we are coming up a little close to that Air Canada.

Nick did as told and we could see the distance increase between us and the A320.

"Cactus 771, winds 279 at 7 knots, cleared for landing runway 27R, number 2 to land." the tower called.

I repeated back our clearance and dropped our flaps to their final downward setting.

Well if anything, I would see my daughter today, and spend the rest of my birthday with her... well... after that drink Will owes me.



For some unknown reason, just as Air Canada was about to land, they got waved off...

We watched as they went gear up and got into a go around pattern, and wondered if we were about to do the same.

I figured well, they had not called to us yet so we are still a go.

Just then Nick grabbed the sidestick and turned off the autopilot.

What are you doing Nick?

"I fly better by hand. Just let me do this please!"

Will was about to admonish him again, when I once more interrupted.

Ok... you wanna do this... go ahead. But if you veer off course, I have my hands ready. When I say let go, you LET GO.

"I am not gonna let you down Boss. I PROMISE!"

The look in his eyes was sincere...

... But I kept my left hand at the ready on my sidestick... just in case.



The beach fast approached as I made minor throttle adjustments and let Mr Cooper bring us in.

I could hear Will in the back mumbling the Lord's prayer, and I shook my head.

Nick on the other hand was like a rock.

Total concentration on the task at hand... dutifully following orders, and gently bringing Steeler Air down past 500 ft, 400... 300...



200...

Outer marker siren went off...

I glanced out to see the first snowbirds on the beach below.

I had to hand it to the kid... he was doing quite well at the moment.

I relaxed my hand and glanced back to Will.

His eyebrows were raised as if to say... is this the same First Officer we took off with?

The last bit of feet disappeared, and like a bird of prey, we sailed over the threshold and came down...



Right on the centerline... at a landing rate of -186.15 feet per minute.

Chirp!

Will applauded.

"Not too shabby Nick... not too shabby at all there." and patted him on the shoulder.

I had to agree... definitely one of the better landings this aircraft has seen in a while.

"I told you I could do it."

Yeah... you did. Good job Cooper.



We taxied clear of the runway and headed to the terminal with about 12 minutes to spare.

I had Nick stop us past the hold short line to pull up flaps, turn off the landing light, release the autobrake, and all the other duties that would be needed before we headed for our gate.

I turned on our ground music, and announced to the cabin welcome to Ft Lauderdale.

I had to admit... it was good to be in Florida right now.

From my understanding it was snowing back home in PA.



As we moved towards the E terminal, ACARS went off, spitting out its usual paper.

Will pulled off the sheet, and read it to me.

A request to have us meet at the US Air virtual offices once the plane had been emptied.

I imagine that will be the joint chiefs of staff... or worse...



Nick pulled us up to the gate and we got our things together.

I figured if we were all in trouble for whatever reason we would ALL face it as a team... Will included.

As most senior staff member I was gonna need his pull no punches attitude to help us get out of whatever mess we had gotten ourselves into.

In about 15 minutes our passengers were debarked... Tiffany had arranged for Mrs. Patel to get her travel voucher, and George had apologized to her for his actions.



When all was ready... we all walked en masse to the US Airways office.

When we reached the doors, Will stopped me.

"Drew... no matter what happens in there.. I want you to know. It has been an honor serving with you."

With a gulp in my throat, I nodded to him... looked around at my faithful crew... and turned the knob.

As we all got in... my daughter Lolo popped up from behind the conference table... as did her mom Jess... Barney, Fred, my cousin Garth, all the ops managers, and station managers, the rest of the board of directors, and a few of the line mechs.

In unison and on Will's signal they all yelled.

"SURPRISE!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREW!!!!"

I fought back the tears as I hugged my daughter for dear life.

Dammit... they got me again for ANOTHER year!